I work night shift and the rest of the world works day shift so when working on a collaborative project (meaning one where a lot of emails are getting traded back and forth) I will email off my portion of the project early in the morning before heading to bed and will wake 6 hours later to either find no response or a thousand email discussion from the other project members.

While I am asleep my brain is aware of the possibility that emails in need my attention are sitting in my inbox not being attended to and recently my brain has begun trying to check my email through my dreams.

At least half a dozen times my brain has thought that it was possible to access my email without me waking up and through some sort of dreamspace mental telepathy. The worst part is that because I am dreaming, and nothing is impossible in dreams, my brain SUCCEEDS in accessing a hellish version of my email inbox (which it created) filled with unreal shit that makes no sense (and are sometimes physical objects, or people, or A Light), all containing disappearing words, all damn near impossible to decipher, all requiring my immediate response.

Each of these half dozen times have ended with me half awake and half dreaming with the thought “they haven’t figured out how to access email with your mind yet” just fucking eating at me, telling me to get out of bed and check my email by using a computer terminal instead, which I do because I know that if I don’t I will not be allowed to fall back asleep.